so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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