oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
