Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
