the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The Olympian is in my bed
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
