BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
