Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
