apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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