Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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