Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
false alarm, still single
Randomize
