All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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