Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
