You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
