i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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