I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
