Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
