in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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