Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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