The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize