im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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