I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
