You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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