Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
