The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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