He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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