Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
