my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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