Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
