if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
