Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
