She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
