What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
As shirtless as possible
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
