It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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