just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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