So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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