I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
