I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i think i just lost a toe
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