too bad you live with your parents still
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't turn off my feet"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
