You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
