girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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