She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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