At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
