The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
