"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
