are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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