We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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