i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
