Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
