I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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