Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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