Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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