God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
