btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
