let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
