Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
