Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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