I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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