Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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