So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
