I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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