You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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