ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
